20: The pink box - How we self-protect when hurting from an abusive or toxic relationship

Today I want to share something deeply personal with you because I believe you will be able to relate to it and hope that I can help you learn from this as I did. Healing from toxic relationships is not linear. It’s windy and bumpy. But honestly the lessons learned are life changing and transformational. And so worthy because you are so worth it. Embrace the hard lessons. Forgive, let go and take new steps. Ask for help, guidance and be willing to let someone else hold you up when you need it. That’s what this podcast is here for and the lessons were my blessings in divorce.



  • Surviving abusive and toxic relationships often require us to step away from our own values and integrity. We do it for the right reasons but it doesn’t leave you feeling good as you are out of alignment with who you are and what you hold as a deep core belief or value.
  • We do what we need to cope with our current situation. This is not weakness. It takes courage and strength.
  • An abuser will teach you through manipulation that what you need or want is not important. You might not realize it has happened. Start connecting with this part of yourself and who you are by remembering the very essence of your being. It’s often found in the labels put on you as a child and the things that people made fun of you for. 
  • These are the ways you can shine brightly today. So write them down and ask yourself what can be possible for you if you step into these very personal traits and characteristics. Start dreaming beautiful 🌟
  • What is your Pink Box? What do you do to cope? Do you numb yourself, hide or walk away and leave it behind? Understand your coping so you can see your way to your healing.
  • Learn to say that yes THAT happened, but it is NOT who I am. 
  • Believing in yourself when coming out of an abusive relationship is not easy. Allowing someone else to believe in you and hold your hand is the path forward so you can do the hard things and know you will keep moving forward.
  • It takes a village. Shannelle and I talk about how our village helped in last week’s episode.