Ep. # 5: Heal your inner People Pleaser and learn how pleasing yourself first is an act of love
A nice and short episode for you today. People pleasing is one of those labels that people (mostly women) will use to describe themselves. Usually with a shrug or as a way of saying "I'm just too nice for my own good". And you know what? That's the bottom line. Are you so busy pleasing everyone else that your mental health is suffering and possibly you are also doing a lot more than anyone every asked (or wanted) of you?
I am going to try a different format for the show notes today. Please let me know what you prefer!
1:40 - What is people pleasing? And a pet peeve of mine that arose from my lack of understanding around this topic.
2:44 - Are you a people pleaser? Know the signs
3:37 - Where does it all start? People pleasing can be a learned behaviour from childhood.
4:56 - Why people pleasing is your red flag and doesn’t bring you what you ultimately want, like; love, validation and acceptance.
5:34 - There’s a difference between being a people pleaser and being nice. One honours your needs and the other doesn’t and ultimately any dysfunctional behaviour - even when nice - leaves everyone feeling a little lacking.
7:20 - What to do if you feel like you are a people pleaser: practice self-care and build your self-worth. Loving yourself is like an antidote for people pleasing. When you love yourself you will take care of yourself and be better equipped for healthy and balanced relationships in every area of your life.
7:56 - Taking responsibility for our contribution/participation in the relationship is key to healing and understanding ourselves. It allows us to understand that we can choose how we want to show up in our relationships.
9:42 - Healing gives you freedom to rebuild yourself.
10:05 - Some tips for the people pleasers and for healing in general :)
12:11 - Mindset is key to healthy relationships going forward. Learning to receive and the value of a give and take is beneficial to everyone.
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