Ep. #10: Co-Parenting during and after divorce with young and older children
I have known Dr. Amy for almost as long as I have been running The Separation Club. We actually met online but I don’t even remember exactly how now. We Masterminded with each other for a while and still keep in touch. I have always valued her very compassionate, kind and practical approach to co-parenting. She always puts the kids first but does so in a way that feels good for the parents.
You will find all her contact information and social media handles below.
SOME TOPICS THAT WERE DISCUSSED:
- The heartache that comes with having to share parenting time with the other parent. We did not have children to not be with them and seeing them leave on a regular basis for 2, 5 or even 7 days at a time is heartbreaking. We discuss some perspectives to consider that can make this easier for you.
- This is also very challenging for the little ones so we talk about how to help them feel ok especially during the actual “transfer” from one parent to the other which is often the most difficult for everyone and can set the tone for their time with you or the other parent.
- It’s important to let go of needing to control the environment, rules and bedtimes etc at the other parent and to accept that even though their parenting style is different, it doesn’t mean it wrong or in any way harmful to the kids.
- Amy’s great advice of constantly asking yourself if you are choosing, speaking or feeling from a place of “is this about me or is this about them (the kids)?”.
- Divorcing with adult kids is entirely different but often very hard on the kids and how we manage this can cause long term damage to our relationships with them.
- The importance of not treating them as friends we confide in, but to remember that they are also going through this.
- The details of the marriage break up is none of their concern.
- How to handle when the kids speak badly of the other parent with you.
- I also asked Amy in the wrap up to talk about some more suggestions around what to do and not to do to make this easier for the kids first and also for us.
- And finally - holidays - managing expectations and creating new traditions.
JOIN OUR NEXT MASTERCLASS on November 17th, 2022 where I'll be talking about how to manage the upcoming holidays. This is free and open to women who are going through separation and divorce. www.theseparationclub.com/membership
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BIO: Dr. Amy King is a licensed psychologist in Newberg, Oregon. She owns a private practice serving children and families. Dr. Amy is a trainer, consultant and educator for professionals on the topics of trauma and resilience. She provides workshops, educational conferences and online events to train professionals around the areas of trauma, compassionate practices and building resilience so that families and children may thrive.