11: Considering leaving your marriage? Gain clarity as you make this decision

Contemplating leaving a long-term relationship or marriage? 

It’s one of the toughest decisions you will make. And one of the reasons it’s so hard is because we have never been taught that we are allowed to choose to be happy even if it doesn’t make your partner happy.

Are you feeling emotionally exhausted? Tired of fighting for the relationship all by yourself. Frustrated continuously giving up on your dreams and the things that matter to you in the name of peace? 

I get it and this episode is for you.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

  • You don’t have to turn your ex into a villain to be justified to leave. Good people can leave good people because it’s what they need. Vilifying usually comes from a place of low self-worth.
  • You are responsible for your happiness. And therefore, it’s ok for you to be done and not want to put your happiness on the back burner one more time so you can indulge your partner wanting to “try” one more time.
  • Living in limbo and dreading having the conversation, stressing about all the what if’s and imagining all the worst case scenarios is usually much worse than actually stepping into it.
  • Gaining real clarity on why you want to end the marriage and what it means for you emotionally before you end it can really help you have “the conversation” in a way that is more respectful for both of you and less emotional.
  • Be really honest about why your marriage / relationship is ending. Really honest. And that includes owning and admitting that our feelings have changed.
  • Ask yourself what you want and need to be happy both with yourself and potentially with a partner instead of asking if this is right or if you are justified. If you know what you truly want out of life and a relationship, then the answer will become clear to you. 
  • Is your current partner/spouse capable of being that person?
  • Choosing to be unhappy or be with someone where you can’t truly live fully in your light is choosing to live as less than your potential, less than what you were meant to. 
  • It’s not just your fault that marriage is ending just because you are the one who has decided to end it.
  • Letting someone go is much more loving than staying and being unhappy in that decision.
  • Now that you know what you want and you have answered some tough questions for yourself it’s time for action! Commit deeply to yourself and your personal growth and learning. And get some help! Join the Rising Free community and get support through this from myself and the incredible women who are waiting to be there for you as you will be for them.

IMPORTANT LINKS MENTIONED IN EPISODE: