12: Understanding our fear and overcoming it

Let’s talk about fear

  • Fear of the unknown
  • Fear of the future
  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear of finances
  • Fear of missing your ex or soon to be ex, forever
  • Fear of making the wrong decision
  • Fear of judgement, failure and other's opinions

USEFUL LINKS MENTIONED (and some other ones):


  • Fear is the space between what you know and what you don’t know. It's that space where we play the "what if..." game.
  • It’s a worst case scenario game that your brain does to you so you don’t do scary things which is the same as new things. Just because you don’t know the outcome doesn’t mean it’s bad, but it’s a little stressful and your brain perceives that as danger and before you know it you are choosing to stay where you were. Why? Because it feels better to be unhappy in the known than to head towards the possibly happy unknown.
  • Fear paralyzes your from progress, growth and future experiences
  • Why is it so hard to have the conversations you need to have, or to start the habit that’s good for you, or quit the one that’s bad and to do the things you need to do and stop doing the things you don’t want to do.
  • We don’t explore the edge enough to see the opportunities and possibilities. We even miss the hands reaching out to guide and help us. That space between who you have been and who you are becoming. 
  • It’s a scary space because there are no real instructions. Just faith. Faith in yourself, in those who believe in you and the possibility of what is ahead of you.
  • Fear is only an emotion. It’s our brain’s response to a situation that feels dangerous simply because it’s new and the path is unknown. 
  • Fear is the word we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous
  • Ask yourself: What about this situation makes you feel unsafe? Could it be that it’s just the unknown that feels scary and that’s not actually real?
  • One way to manage the what if’s and the fear is to start planning for the worst case scenario.
  • What to do: Hire a coach; work out the worst case scenarios; understand where the fear comes from; identify your limiting beliefs and get rid of those that are standing in your way.