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33: Social media and your divorce - should you step away?


  • Your social media channels/accounts might not be as private as you think so use this as an incentive to do a huge privacy overhaul on all your social media channels or even better - remove yourself until you know you can handle what you might see and read and you know you will not do an emotional dump things that really shouldn’t be discussed with friends, neighbours and acquaintances on social channels. And change all your passwords!
  • If you find “dirt” on your ex because you still have their passwords you likely won’t be able to use it in court. Plus it’s an invasion of privacy you would not appreciate.
  • Telling “your truth” might not be received as well as you are hoping for. Think before you post about why.
  • I have seen too many friendships lost and family loyalties questioned because of things shared on social media. All because you might notice that one of your friends has become friends with his new girlfriend, or your mom liked one of your ex’s posts, or your sister wished your ex a happy birthday on FB. Step away from social media and distance yourself from things that trigger you.
  • Some basic rules to consider for your own sanity and out of consideration and compassion
    1. Take a real pause from all social media during your divorce to avoid the above triggers and so you never have to worry about anything you post.
    2. Never post when you are upset or angry and never respond to their angry post. Let them look bad all alone and don’t engage. All you are doing is entertaining everyone 
    3. If you are staying on then only post positive things like positive quotes and affirmations and pics of dogs and nature. Avoid posting about your great vacation with the kids and especially if you are on a romantic get away. It only ads fuel to the fire.
    4. Remove your relationship status all together. Do not announce a new love interest by tagging the person in a status update.
    5. Unfollow your ex and their entire family. You can follow them again one day when you feel emotionally safe to do so
    6. Don’t look for dirt on your ex online and 
    7. don’t discuss the case at all.
  • What social media IS good for: Community
    • for example the Rising Free Community which you can join with no strings attached. Get 4 coaching calls every month as well as sisterhood, friendship, guidance and so much more.